Ms. Rachel and Melanie Sanders

Rachel Griffin-Accurso and Melani Sanders

My granddaughter, like most toddlers, loves “Miss Rachel.” Miss Rachel (or Ms. Rachel) is a 43-year-old former music educator who started a You-Tube channel with songs, activities, and lessons for toddlers and pre-schoolers. Although my granddaughter also has an obsession for trains (choochoos) and dogs and Bear in the Big Blue House (whom I enjoy), Ms/Miss Rachel is the go to.

Although she has been criticized for some gender activism and wanting to help children in Gaza, she seems on the videos we watch to be positive, educationally sound, and kind, all things we would want for toddlers. The program does not have that “here’s something under the radar for adults” feel that Sesame Street sometimes does, nor does it lean toward urban settings like SS. Most children don’t live in tenements with trashcans out front. Miss Rachel shows short videos of all kinds of children AND their parents (thank you); she also has captions that talk about milestones in the children’s development, such as “at 15 months, the child should be able to ….” Wikipedia states that her own son had speech delay, and one of her staff is a speech pathologist. I noticed there is a good bit of “look at my mouth and how I say this” activity.

So, yes, I’m a fan of the lady in the pink t-shirt and blue overalls. My granddaughter has a Ms. Rachel doll that has buttons in her hands you can push for a “message.” And one of them is interesting.

“You can do hard things.”

When I am watching my granddaughter, as I do on Mondays right now, it’s like a course in child development. Of course, I think she is the smartest child in the world, and she is bright, but what is more important is that her brain in working, developing, and making neural connections. and it’s fascinating to watch. I used to be more interventionist but now sometimes I sit on the couch and just facilitate her play—as well as run guard duty, since she still puts inappropriate things in her mouth (like her shoe). Sometimes she will want to do something like put a too-big object into a bag or box, and I have to stop myself from jumping to help her. She will try over and over, and whine in her particular way. Not wanting Grandchild Number 1 to get frustrated, it's easy to try intervene.

I need to remind her, “You can do hard things.”

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Those of us in the East had some hellacious heat this week. My almost fifteen-year-old dog Nala, who has cardiomyopathy and is in the dying process, has suffered more than we, and we thought she was at the end. No, she was in the heat too long. Being kept in the shade and air conditioning for two days seemed to get her verve and her appetite back. For me, I still need to walk the labrador mix in this oppression. I don’t want to. I don’t want to be drenched after 40 minutes.

I can do hard things. (Although it gives me a headache.)

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So we come to Melani Sanders. She is the "We Do Not Care" lady on social media. She started a "club" for women in menopause and perimenopause. She starts with "These are the announcements" and starts to read from a spiral notebook the things "We" no longer care about in her stage of life. "We do not care how tired you are. We've been tired since you were born." That one is aimed at her children. Others are aimed at anyone who wants to put a societal expectation of looks or clothing on us. Then she marks the "announcement" off with a yellow highlighter.

She is very funny. I laugh out loud. To any woman, menopausal or not, who is just plain tired, as in the "America Ferrara's speech in the Barbie movie" tired, we can relate.

Yet, some things do need done, as they say. And as Ms. Rachel says, "You can do hard things."

The task of life is to know the difference between the non-negotiables and all that extra stuff that is worthy of "We Do Not Care." I just wrote a book about that, but I don't give many answers on what goes into the two categories for individuals. Only you can do that although social media is probably going to be on most people's "extra stuff that we should not care about" list.

Two notes: I know Ms. Rachel has been criticized for gender activism and support for children in Gaza. On the first, my nieta will be far past Ms. Rachel's shows when she is old enough to understand that issue, which I hope doesn't come until she is 16. On the second, I support Israel but children need to be fed and housed and live in peace. A lot of the "news" from Gaza is propaganda, but that Palestinian children are suffering in this war is indisputable.